Now they ban us from travelling, what’s next?

By Mukomana We Kuseri

When oh when will this hubris stop already?

Nhai veduwee! Kune vanhu here ikoko? Is there anyone out there? I mean in the main house, are there any people there? Because out here kuseri I am boiling with anger, kuvira chaiko, and it looks like zviri kungoitika kuno. What kind?

Why am I the only one who is angry?

We learn from Helen Kadirire at the Daily News that Kasukuwere, him with the 40 bedroom house that looks like a sports club, has decided that city councils are now banned from having their seminars out of town.

Apparently, according to the erudite minister, there are so many council conference rooms in every council and if there are pressing issues to discuss, they should use those.

He ought to know about rooms, there are quite plenty in his mansion, which he has built on his ministerial salary of course. Perhaps Harare City Council could hold their seminar at his house maybe?

Apparently, the minister feels that this ‘criss-crossing around the country for seminars must stop’. Ha! He is one to talk.

His boss has spent the last few years cross-crossing the globe, I mean, even going to Ivory Coast. Cote d’Ivoire chaiko here nhai vanhu?! Kunei chedu ikoko? Vanodhla sadza ku Cote d’Ivoire kwokuti titi anga ainda kunokwata? Do they eat sadza there?

So it is okay for his boss to crisscross the continent, then wodarika until one day he has dropped in on a meeting to which he is not invited in Turkey, then falling over himself in India, then sending his deputy to Belarus, of all places, and then yoyo, he is in New York, then Zud, then….kwese kani.

Can anyone please tell me why we are not altogether angry, altogether irate, altogether fearfully and wonderfully upset at this blatant double standard? Why are we not now marching to their mansions and just evicting them from our country, the whole lot of them?

I mean, the hubris, the sheer lunacy of it all. On the very day that we learn that the Dear Leader is either probably dead or undergoing some annual maintenance in some hospital in Singapore, that his much maligned (by his own side, mind you) deputy had to travel there just so that he could be made Acting President, right on that same day, we are told that travelling from Mhondoro-Ngezi to Kadoma is a no no? Really?

Surely the cost of taking just Chatunga and his foul-mouth and his PS4 and Xbox 1 to Singapore could accommodate a good-sized district council in some cheap motel in Kadoma, no? I like to bet that even one of the Son-in-Law’s Kofi Olomide outfits would finance a few rooms in a cheap motel in Chegutu for a useful seminar or two, no?

Are you telling me that the there were no rooms in Uzumba Maramba Pfungwe (where they get most of their votes from we are told) when Zanu PF traipsed off to Victoria Falls just this yesterday (zuro uno) to go and insult some soldiers for interfering in politics and give press conferences about how good we have been having it?

Are we to think that it was because most of them were from Victoria Falls? Shuwali shuwali you are telling me that taking thousands of yes-men and women to Victoria Falls to listen to a near-comatose Dear Leader is less of a waste of money than having a few councillors go talk in some nondescript motel in a little neglected town?

I ask you again, why am I the only person that seems angered by this hubris? Kujairigwa ndinokuziva ini, but izvi umm. Zvomene zvomene we are being told by this lot that we need to save money so that we do not leave debts for future generations? Now? After they have looted our country dry, now they want to preach to us about good-husbandry and financial probity?

And no-one except me is angry?

Why? Pane zvamunozivawo here ikoko that is making you think that it is all good? Because as for me, I am feeling ire, and I am thinking that we should already be marching, but yet I see no-one. It’s not like we do not know who they are, or where they live. No-one is advocating violence mind you, that would be wrong. But all I am saying is that I am angry, and that I know where they live. And I am not alone in this, am I?

So, why are we waiting again?

Mukomana We Kuseri